Denim Startup UnZippd Revolutionizes Wearing Pants

Denim Startup UnZippd Revolutionizes Wearing Pants
Warren Warren
I am the Kwisatz Haderach of value investing

NEW YORK, NY - As a dude with a sometimes uncomfortably large bulge, finding jeans that fit me is a hassle; and if I want stylish denim that won’t break the bank? forget it!

“We made our new line of jeans just for guys like you,” says Sean Oliver, founder of UnZippd, “and for everyone else whose package size precludes them from being comfortable.” Mr. Oliver recently launched his limited line of jeans to specifically be worn with the fly completely down, thus allowing the crotch to breathe freely without letting the pants slip off. This revolutionary line now consists of Slim, Athletic, and Boot Cut styles as well as Jorts (jean-shorts) for the Summer.

Mr. Oliver explains that his venture sprang from necessity, “When I was an MBA student at Columbia, I often wore my jeans unzipped to give myself more room when I sat down, but when I stood up, they would slip right off. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve exposed myself to fellow students.” Now anyone can wear these patented denim designs unzipped, unfettered, and unafraid of indecent exposure charges.

Wile the brand is currently a completely e-commerce shop, they have plans to expand into traditional retail, if not their own brick and mortar stores in the future. In the meantime, Mr. Oliver is dedicated to the original purpose of the UnZippd:

“Our mission is to help every man, woman, or child with an extra-girthy dick wear jeans as comfortably as they can!”

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