Opinion
10 Rules Every Professional Needs To Know About Slack Etiquette
Slack, the workplace collaboration company, started trading on the New York Stock Exchange today, greatly surpassing its private valuation. The popular chat application rolled out into the workforce so quickly,...
Client Presentation Includes Entirety of Kubrick's 1975 Epic 'Barry Lyndon'
FORT WAYNE, IN - Sources have confirmed that last Thursday’s presentation to client executives, ostensibly about “Supply Chain Optimization,” did include a complete viewing of Stanley Kubrick’s period masterpiece, Barry...
BREAKING: Target Will Close in Five Minutes
WILKES-BARRE, PA - Good evening, Super Target guests, our registers will close in five minutes. Please make your final selections and take your items to the registers located at the...
Satanic Orgy Also Networking Event
UNDISCLOSED LOCATION, LOWER MANHATTAN - The Society of Baphomet, an ancient cult devoted to orgiastic rites, held their first networking get-together of the spring this week in a cavernous, underground...
Isn't Corporate America Diverse Enough?
NEW YORK, NY - There seems to have been a quite the kerfuffle lately about certain firms and their recent promotion practices. Now I’ve been in the corporate world for...
Hedge Fund Manager Specializes in Emotionally Distressed Value Dating
NEW YORK, NY - Realizing that the New York City dating scene was no longer providing satisfactory returns, local finance professional Jason Harner has turned to alternative markets to find...
Your Entire Team Could Keep Their Jobs with Money Consultants Got to Fire You
YOUR OFFICE - Citing revenue numbers that failed to reach projections, consultants from Bain & Company have recommended that your team be mostly eliminated although their retained fees are far...
Reservist Coworker 'Deploys', Gets Paid to Drink, Party in San Diego
ATLANTA, GA - Associate claims adjuster Gary Gaviola from the Metlife (MET) regional office in Atlanta has reportedly “deployed” again with his U.S. Navy Reserve unit, which is conducting training...
