PARMA, ITALY - Guido Barilla, the outspoken chairman of one of the market’s leading pasta manufacturers, is in hot water once again for his views on LGBT issues. Effective this week, the company will shift focus to more family-friendly shapes like rigatoni, penne, and regular-thickness spaghetti - the core of it’s ‘straight-only’ policy.
“Barilla wholeheartedly embraces its traditional European values,” announced the chairman, “and therefore cease all production of farfalle, commonly known as bow-tie or butterfly pasta.” Mr. Barilla suggested that consumers who wish to purchase such ‘abhorrent’ shapes would be better served by “those tortellini-folders over at Trader Joe’s”