Charles Schwab Offering Free Small Fries with Every Trade

Charles Schwab Offering Free Small Fries with Every Trade
Warren Warren
I am the Kwisatz Haderach of value investing

NEW YORK CITY - On Tuesday, Charles Schwab (SCHW) announced that it would be providing a free small serving of French fries with every online trade — including U.S. stocks, ETFs, and options, years after Robinhood eliminated all fees on the same.

Competition from micro-investing platforms like Stash, which offers “2-for-Tuesday” guaranteed double returns every Tuesday, but Schwab’s move signals a formal acknowledgment by the bigger players that the core demographics are changing.

“These basement-dwelling, YOLO-options idiots have no idea what they’re doing” Wells Fargo Securities’ Mike Mayo told Boredroom News on Wednesday. “They don’t actually know how money works, so getting free fries every time they gamble their parents’ 401k seems like a pretty sweet deal.”

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