Report: Ultra-Rich Hermit Crabs Hiding Assets in Caribbean Shell Companies

Report: Ultra-Rich Hermit Crabs Hiding Assets in Caribbean Shell Companies
Milton Milton
Columbia University, Division of War Research '43-'45

ST. GEORGE’S, GRENADA - Although nearly four years have passed since the explosive revaluations of the Panama Papers were published, most citizens still do not comprehend the extent of wealth hidden offshore. An exclusive report by the Boredroom News now shows that the top 1% of hermit crabs invest the majority of their assets, as well as live, in Caribbean shells.

Originally uncovered by German newspaper Süddeutsche Zeitung, the trove has been examined by the Boredroom News for the last three years and only now is revealing even more shocking offshore tax havens, most notably by certain decapod crustaceans.

This investigation is ongoing.

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