Client Presentation Includes Entirety of Kubrick's 1975 Epic 'Barry Lyndon'

FORT WAYNE, IN - Sources have confirmed that last Thursday’s presentation to client executives, ostensibly about “Supply Chain Optimization,” did include a complete viewing of Stanley Kubrick’s period masterpiece, Barry...

Japanese Salarymen Really Banking on New Godzilla Attack to Break Up the Month

Beyond Meat CEO Driven to Push Beyond All Other Corporeal Limitations As Well

EL SEGUNDO, CA - “Releasing ourselves from the burden of consuming flesh is only the beginning,” announced Ethan Brown to a rapt audience at the headquarters of Beyond Meat, the...

ExxonMobile Celebrates Pride Month by Dumping Rainbow Oil Sheen Across Arctic

ANCHORAGE, AK - In a show of solidarity with the LGBT community during Pride Month many companies have unveiled new logos that incorporates the rainbow flag, but only ExxonMobile has...

BREAKING: Target Will Close in Five Minutes

WILKES-BARRE, PA - Good evening, Super Target guests, our registers will close in five minutes. Please make your final selections and take your items to the registers located at the...

Ford Memorial Day Sale Now Explicitly in Honor of Both Sides

DETROIT, MI - In a Shocking move to some, but a progressive stance for a new era to others, the Ford Motor Company (F) announced that their annual Memorial Day...