All Stories
Bailout Deal Allows SoftBank Execs to Steal Any Food They Want from WeWork Shared Fridges
NEW YORK CITY - After a disastrous IPO attempt, the We Company is reportedly offering SoftBank financiers whatever food they find in WeWork communal spaces to encourage an emergency bailout...
Subway Offering Tuition Assistance for Degrees in the Sandwich Arts
MILFORD, CT - Known for its fast food footlongs and overpowering bread smells, Subways Restaurants will soon add another bullet to its resume, patron of the arts. A new program...
NYC FakeTaxi Drivers Are Struggling in the Age of FakeUber
NEW YORK CITY - If you want to know the effect FakeUber and FakeLyft are having on New York City’s FakeTaxi yellow cabs, just take a ride in the backseat...
Starbucks Reserve Called Up for 3rd Wave Coffee Offensive
SEATTLE - The coffee chain Starbucks has issued emergency call up orders to hundreds of Reserve battalions in light of a new cold brew and ethically-sourced blitzkrieg by various small-batch...
Blizzard Launches WOW Quest Suspiciously Similar to Quelling Hong Kong Protests
HONG KONG, CHINA(?) - Activision Blizzard is in hot water again just weeks after facing backlash for censoring players who support the protests here in Hong Kong. The e-sport giant’s...
